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They are the foreign legion of bands. Their brave comrades were given a new identity and a lifelong mission. Once denounced as scoundrels and jugglers, these musical irregulars set out and conquered the world, one step at a time. Nothing can stop them; there are never prisoners, and witnesses can remember nothing. Once banished from their homeland, they now return in the glory of triumph. Whenever a mortal enters one of their festival sites, they quickly realize:
"Woe is me, there's no turning back now! THE WOLPIS ARE BACK IN TOWN!"
Conceived by the gods, raised by wolves, and finally knighted—these are the most important stages in the life of Ralf Neumann, also known as "Hoty Wolpertinger". When this primal force enters the stage, the mountains tremble and the animals of the forest flee in dire distress. You have to see it for yourself to truly believe it.
Freshly blow-dried, washed with every trick, and toweled dry: That's what our Ronny used to be like. Known as a model student and mother-in-law's favorite, he underwent a terrifying metamorphosis during his adolescence. After a brief abduction by aliens from the planet "Malzus Bierus", he was unrecognizable, singing raunchy shanties and harassing stray dogs. Through grotesque detours, which we won't go into here, he eventually joined the vagabonds of the "Wolpus Erectus" tribe, was redomesticated, and is now responsible for drinking up the leftovers.
Once called Ragnarok, he beat the pace on the galley of the damned. But the thunder god took pity on him and bestowed upon him the club of death. Under his blow, peaks burst and glaciers split. To prevent further harm from Mother Earth, the WB adopted the world-destroyer into their illustrious triumvirate, so he was tamed and has since then adhered to the secret cult of the Juchitzer.
The other band members found this brave comrade-in-arms, completely neglected, in front of Cologne Cathedral with a traveling guitar. They promptly took him away, washed him, clothed him, fed him, and provided him with a decent instrument. Since that day, he has foolhardily followed the Wolpertinger Baum into every battle, without regard for his life or limb.
Once, he was sent into the woods to bring bread and wine to his grandmother. When he returned twenty years later, the frightened child had grown into a fearless man. Armed with the most dangerous of all instruments, the bass, he produces sounds that shake the universe. If only his grandmother had known.
